it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
