Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
