The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
