maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
