Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
