I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
