it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
