okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
