Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
