It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
