normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
