Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
