wanna go halves on a baby?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
