you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize