he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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