I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
