Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
