ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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