Tell her she can't have a vagina
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
