i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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