i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
