Is it normal to miss your booty call?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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