i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize