im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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