I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
