i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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