make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
