Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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