drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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