she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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