Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
