i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
