I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
