There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
