Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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