I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
