He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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