12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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