Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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