Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize