your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
