Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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