Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
