I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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