ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Vodka?
Forever.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
