the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
