We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
