I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
