ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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