I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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