Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
