I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
