I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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