try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
