My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
