Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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