This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dick very happy bro
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
