my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
