That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize