If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
