As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We don't watch enough power rangers
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
