We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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