Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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