You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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