she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize