White coat. Heels.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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